Book Review: Changing Vampires in the Workplace into Angels
I have just been reading this book: Changing Vampires into Angels’ by Maria Paviour. The book talks about the different types of relationships we can have with people. In particular, it talks about how certain people can be energy vampires who drain and manipulate. Maria describes many different types of vampire. There were many ‘a-ha’ moments as I read through the book and I recognized several people in the definitions and descriptions she gave. The book is full of illustrations, case studies and contemporary examples to put the information into context.
In the second half of the book, Maria talks about how we can avoid becoming addicted to vampires and how we can harness the positive qualities in our life as an antidote to the various vampires types we may come across in the course of our personal and professional lives.
If you wonder about some of the characters and personalities in your workplace – and you want a way to be able to understand what is going on better, and effectively rise above these issues, then take a look at this book.
Below, I have summarized from parts of the book,
‘Ten personality characteristics to be cautious of at Work’:
- They keep you doing things for them but never return the favour. You dare not complain about this one-sided dynamic for fear of rocking the boat. Over time, this creates a strain but the full impact of this is not felt until much later – perhaps when the relationship is long past.
- They say ‘odd’ things that ruffle your feathers but not enough for you to complain about. Over time, this ‘chipping’ away at you takes its toll on your self-esteem. This is their manipulative way of making up for their own sense of inferiority.
- They are bullying, argumentative and cruel – over time this dampens your spirit and drains your energy.
- They pretend to be on your side, perhaps due to the kudos of being with you and the power or credit they get from being associated with you. They pretend, because they think that by being their true self, they could never be accepted by you.
- Anytime you spend time with them, you leave feeling like you’ve just been hit (God forbid) by a truck; dazed and confused.
- They seem hell-bent on controlling you; all their actions seem directed outwards / projected towards you (because controlling you is far easier than turning their attention to themselves and managing their own thoughts and behaviours). They can be very forceful as they NEED you to do what they want – as they perceive cannot do it themselves.
- Things they say seem to never add up or tally; if you enquire further, or search deeper, their foundations are quite weak so they are unable to explain or justify their comments. They tend to be untrustworthy.
- They like to be surrounded by people who will agree with them. If you disagree they become aggressive and dismissive. So they wield their power by keeping people as ‘yes’ people or keeping them silent.
- They are disloyal even to those that have been very good to them. For them, it is all about how to move up the corporate ladder – not about nurturing relationships.
Anytime they hear laughter, they run to disperse it. They cannot stand others being happy and seek to interrupt it.
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